Last November i remember sitting in my car on University ave. with Frank. We had just finished going to Urban Outfitters for the last time. I sat there while Frank read a pamphlet that was left on my front windshield. Then out of nowhere i get a call from a number i didn't know. Well it was one of my coaches calling me to ask "why i didn't go to practice". All i could really think was "here we go and why the hell did i answer the phone". I told him some bullshit excuse but that was only the beginning. We kept talking while Frank was just awkwardly sitting there hearing the conversation. With his stories of how he blew out his knee and couldn't finish his senior wrestling season he told me something that till this day i remember.. "don't do anything now that later in life your really going to regret". Obviously he was talking about me not quitting the wrestling team. Well those words really stuck in my mind that night and after thinking about it for a good while i thought to myself, what if? What if i never gave myself a shot at being a state champ? Well that was all the convincing i needed to stay on the wrestling team.
Now to the present. Last week while everyone was in class learning about court cases and literary nonsense, i was in Prescott, Arizona handling my business on the mat. Thursday was one of the best days i have had in my life. After beating my first guy (in triple overtime) in the beginning of the tournament, i knew how i was going to wrestle that day. I then beat the Queen Creek heavyweight to advance to the semi-finals. Then at the end of the semi-finals match i look up at Coach Lopez. I see him clapping with a look on his face which showed he was proud of me. I will never forget that look. Well that's when it sunk in. I clinched my fists' and gave out a huge scream in excitement and relief. Well this win meant i was in the State Finals wrestling for MY heavyweight championship. After getting my hand raised i go to Lopez and he tells me in my ear "i always knew you could be here stud, i just needed you to believe it".
Many of you know how my finals match turned out. I can seat here telling you guys that the other heavyweight stalled and the referee never called it, but then i would be blaming someone else. Honestly i never should of gone for that outside trip. But even though the other heavyweight did absolutely nothing for a good two minutes while i just kept pushing, the referee never really called the stalling call he should of. But as i desperately went for an ankle pick in the last 5 seconds of regulation and failed i thought to myself "I'm sorry Coach Lopez, i really tried to win this match for you". I never actually told him that and i don't think i ever will. He is the reason why i came as far as i did in my four years at Pueblo. But i still wish i was standing at the top of the podium when we all received our medals.
Well i'll ask you. Have you ever been so close to having something you can taste it? That you can feel it? That you can remember the first time you held it? That was the feeling leading up to Friday night when i lost. I had that feeling all day and i could of sworn it was real. But at the end i couldnt get it done. With all the disappointment and discontent while i sat on a chair on the edge of the mat Coach Lopez again came up to me and wishpered something in my ear that made it all go away for those brief moments, "You did great stud, dont let yourself think otherwise. And to tell you the truth, he was stalling the whole time stud. It was the refs call that he should of made". After he told me that i looked up at him with what i can only guess was a very disappointed face, and again he gave me that look of "I am proud of you stud". Well even though i still feel pretty bitter about the match i guess i have to let go the fact that i cant change the past. But "what if " i could?
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